Tips on worsening your insomnia #4: Make a film.

After yet another long, dry silence from my end, here's another useless post about how to up your bouts of Chinese eyes, nail biting and cephalgic dauntings.

I would start this off with the generic 'What, you ask, could possibly make my lack of sleep any worse?!' however the answer lays right before your eyes in plain helvetica- right up there, in the title bar; Make a film. Not one out of personal choice, though. No, not one simply compiled by love and free time. I mean one that your summer relies upon. One that will be the determining factor between whether or not you get referrals, whether or not you get promoted to the next year of your course, whether or not another polar bear shall die. Excuse the embarrassing bursts of melodrama, it is, however, 3 am and I am nowhere near done.

Items in tonight's checklist:

-Write a covering letter, career plan and curriculum vitae for a beloved local tele presenter. Sarcasm? Never.

-Complete a production folder which, despite having a week's long extension, I still have not even bothered looking at.

-Edit a few scenes, fix the script mark-ups, log sheets and story boards. Thankfully, Premiere Pro CS6 works in a considerably smoother way than its predecessors, else I might have had to resort to smashing my brand new laptop. A plan which, if I may speak frankly - and I know I can do just that, I am not profoundly keen on.

Did I mention that I got a kitten?

Kitten comes complete with a good read and some interesting tunes.  Batteries not included. Terms and Conditions apply. Kindly ask bill payer's permission before indulging in strawberry fields and glass onions.

I leave you with this, and with this I leave you.

V.

Time takes but also passes.

CHKDSK

Everything comes to a silenced halt
As words of reconciliation are heard.
'Heard', a word similar to 'hurt' with certain pronunciation,
The reason one would come to reconcile.
'Forgive and forget'-
They used to say this in church on Sunday mornings
Along with 'Repent; Turn unto the light'.

Many people never see much light,
They walk with their heads held high,
Sunglasses covering their faces, and move on what they hear.

Hearsay,
Rumour,
Gossip.

One and the same -  A mistake from whichever angle you look at it.
Mistakes as they sprawl across papers in exams,
Or form in the uterus out boredom, enibriety.
Sober to drunk;
Cause and effect;
A basic scientific equation.
Nucleosynthesis,
The Big Bang.
Bang, bang.
'Hitting, shooting, war, hunting, all the arts of hurting'
But is the pain real?
What is emotion but a mere feeling?
Abstract.
Surreality.

La Haine.

Wrote this on the 12th April,
V.

More old poetry.

It's 11pm and, 9th espresso streaming through my veins, I still fail to concentrate on the storyboards which lay before me or, rather, lack thereof. Tonight's center of procrastination, my old blog. I decided to skim through and post another old poem from it so as to waste time. Wrote the underlying back in 2010. This is it:

I walked along this morning,
Behind the tanker of despair,
Where eventually it led me,
Down to its hideous layer.

One by one it will take us,
To this dark and gloomy place;
It will rob us of our feelings,
And scare us with its face.
It will leave us feeling empty,
Alone and without hope.

No one will ever find us,
Or throw us down a rope.


Not too fond of this one as it feels incomplete, but alas it is what it is.


Later,
V.

Lady Madonna

Below is a poem I had written during A' Levels. Had posted it on an older blog but thought I'd share it on this one too.


Upon entering there's a seat.
A smile waiting next to it.
A few words;
-I'm tired. It's too early-
Finally the main entrance.
Everyone stares. Everyone listens.
Pens in Hands. Papers on desks.
Then the alienation.
The silence.
A small nudge of elbows. Right on left.
And vice versa.
The slapping of books on tables.
The turning of pages.
Flick. Flick. Flick.
Thirteen.
Highlighters screech over words.
But underneath it all; the awkwardness.
A silence from both ends.
Its over.
The chair is pushed towards the desk.
And then a cold shoulder.
An empty right.
A hollowness inside.
A sinking.
Then some false pretense.
Some thinking. In solitude.
A flight of stairs leading up but walked down.
And then some more.
Blue walls. Minimal decor.
The shelves.
Philosophy. Religion. Science.
Language- Art.
Sheets laying dead on eachother.
Black on white. The facts.
A seat by itself. Surrounded by many.
The whispering.
The cold, piercing silence.

An after-effect.
Action - Reaction.
Or a lack from both ends.
Maybe it's just the morning.
The cold outside.
The wind stabbing cores of inanimates.
And animates too.
To animate.
Animation.
Animated.
Mate.
Mating.
That's what the book was about.
Added some oppression.
Freedom to and freedom from.
Hollowness.
Emptiness.
Feelinglessness.
In turn that too is a feeling.
The feeling of not feeling.
A shared glimpse upon passing.
Dead sentiments which lay buried in the mud.
Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.
But it still happened.
Carpe diem.
But the day died too.
Dulce et decorum est.
But only if it's real.
And then another glimpse.
Another set of eyes.
The butterflies.
But, alas, it is winter.
The cold. The rain. The shoulder.
Dulce et decorum est.
But is it real?
The legs march on.
A stuttering of shoes.
The stuttering rifle's rapide rattle.
But is weaponary truly necessary?
Parallell lines on a paper. Short. 3mm.
Followed by a closing parenthesis.

And then a clock.
Tick Tock.
But the tock stops.
And then an end.
A concluding line.
A termination of flow.
-It's late. I must go-


Kudos if you read it all. References going out to M. Atwood and W. Owen, whose writings were the main inspiration for this.


Torii out,
V.

Day 13- Back to the End, Onward to the Beginning.

After two months of abstaining from adding anything to this blog, by negligence not choice, I believe it's time I do. As always this blog serves me as a procrastinatory catharsis, in that I should be finishing off a script due Friday and instead I'm on here- searching for ways to let my time go to the dogs.

Speaking about dogs, I want a kitten. Here's my final attempt at convincing my mum to let me get one:

Isn't that the cutest thing you've ever seen? 

 Probably not if you're not a fan of cats. My dog was much cuter than this when I first found him, but anyhow. I want a kitten. Cat in miniature, what ever.

Well, back to the main point of this. Today all MCAST ADI students get back to school and, being one myself, so do I. First lesson of the second half of the second semester - 2.2.1 - is advertising. Not really that interesting at all, and considering the thought of a 1 hour ride to and from Mosta for the sake of a 2 hour lecture, I would say that stoked is the least thing I am. At least, tomorrow we've got our editing class which, au contraire to the aforementioned, I await with great 'Antici --Pation'. If you didn't get that last reference, I suggest you turn your laptop on and watch The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

I leave you with a picture of what, back in the 70s, was a highly controversial film. 

Au revoire,
V.

Tips on how to worsen your insomnia #3

I haven't written anything on here in so long that I've almost forgotten how to formulate a blog post. At least 15 minutes have passed since I opened the 'new post' tab and still my mind insists on remaining shut, my fingers disabled from typing anything half decent to read. Introductions were never my strong point, you see. Neither in literature nor in the realm of the living. My procrastinatory skills, however, are far from lacking as one may or may not have noticed, and I oft find myself repeating the words -Focus, Vic. Stick to your topic.- So, here's to another post about things which fail to be kind on the insomniac soul.

It's cold out and the rain hasn't even considered taking a break. Queue long speech about childhood and times spent reminiscing about England. I had a post about that somewhere, possibly on the music-love-peace blog, but alas I can't seem to find it. Right, back to today's topic of discussion. It's cold, it's rainy, it's Malta. 'Why did she mention Malta?' you ask. Here is the answer-

I spent the weekend in Gozo. Enjoying the sunshine, greenery and overall Mediterranean weather. I come back to Malta late Sunday night and awake Monday morning to find dull clouds and humid pavements. Conflict of weather causes conflicts of Internal Body Temperature which in turn causes sickness. Here it is, people, the climax of this post. The next tip for aggravation of sleeping problems: I got sick.

After much time spent rolling about in bed, too restless to sleep yet too exhausted to get up, it was concluded by Madre Superiora that I was coming down with the Flu. Not the common cold caused by Rhino-viruses, but 'Influenza' an RNA Virus that travels through the Peripheral Nervous System making you feel like utter shit. Symptoms include a mental fever, pain all over the body, coughing and headaches among others.

I feel I have ranted on long enough, so to sum it all up- It's cold, it's rainy, it's Flu season. Do yourself a favour and try not to get sick, else fear the rath of many a sleepless night.

The above is a left-over of The Flu Pandemic of 1918

With this I leave you,

V.